Here’s why I really like to make messes…
…..In short, it’s because of this ONE not so tiny thing called perfection. And for a long time I believed it was attainable. So I chased it in every area of my life I could. Because I thought it would give me control, power, make me feel happy and successful. Perfection is a deceptive mirage, because often times we have a vision of what it looks like and it’s easy to then believe it’s possible. .
But that’s where we’re set up to really fail from the start. Because what perfection really loves is a clean slate, a blank page or empty canvas. It’s crisp, smooth, symmetrical and like every other canvas or page out there.
So the moment we add to the page or canvas we’re gambling with perfection. Which is why it’s so easy to let that fear keep us from even starting at all.
For awhile I thought I loved the start of new projects or a new job, because of the excitement and thrill, which is partially true. But what was really going on there was perfection. I had a vision, an idea of what it would be like and why it would be so different and better. But that idea was really an expectation. One that, yes you guessed it was tied to perfection. New beginnings seemed alluring because they were fresh and nothing had been messed up. No mistakes had been made. .
Perfection is really fear. Fear it won’t work. Fear of failure. Fear of not being enough. It’s fear. .
So that’s why I choose to embrace the messiness of creativity and life in general. Like yesterday when my video cut off at the end, or when I make a spelling mistake, or when my cat got into my paint and then proceeded to get it on the carpet and my desk and everywhere (she’s no longer covered in paint by the way).
I still get the whisper of that voice of perfection or thought of what if I really mess this up. But noticing it helps. Not letting it make all my decisions for me helps. And most of all showing up to paint everyday and giving myself permission to make a mess helps. .
And what about you, can you relate to obsessing with perfection? I’d love to know what helps you overcome it and embrace messiness & imperfections?